I'm only linking this because my inner twelve-year-old keeps giggling at the byline. And no, it's not his real name, which is a pity.
5:50 PM | link
NEW VIRUS ALERT. I haven't got this one yet, but I gather quite a lot of people have done.
5:34 PM | link
Tasmanian hookers on alert after that business with the Perth brothel. You mean they have prostitutes in Tasmania? Indeed, they have sex in Tasmania?
5:31 PM | link
Idiots watching porn video in Namibian TV station accidentally hit the broadcast switch while watching it.
5:29 PM | link
McDonalds renames itself to "Man Foods" in Egypt. Does that mean women aren't allowed in or something?
5:29 PM | link
Mike Tyson bounces back with another valiant effort to wrest the fuckwit of the week award from Jamie Kellner.
5:24 PM | link
The Ronald Reagan tapes. Five CDs worth of Ronnie's long-lost 1970s radio broadcasts. Apparently he thought if people wanted to smoke pot that was their business. Yes, Reagan actually had a liberal thought once. Apparently he also turned down a TV offer because he thought people would tire of him if they kept seeing him on TV every week. And when he became president did he not think people would tire of hearing about him every day?
5:22 PM | link
New South Korean film features 825 nude actors. Beat THAT, Peter Greenaway!
4:53 PM | link
And a brief word for Martin Roth should go here. I don't particularly dig the Christianity myself—and I don't have any great thing against the system itself, merely some of its adherents, which is also true of atheism and so-called "free thought"—but he's Australian-based so I'll give him a go. Plus he has what looks like a healthy disdain for that brand of hardcore fundie-ism that condemns the likes of Harry Potter as "satanic", which has to be a good thing. Also, if you also run a Christian blog and aren't on his list of those, let him know, eh?
A sample of his entry for today:
I found it hard to believe that so many Christians supported—often with enthusiasm—policies that demonised refugees, that refused them entry to Australia (that is, refused them entry to Australia just for processing; if they turned out not to be true refugees then of course I believed we had the right to send them home again), or that locked them up, sometimes for years, in outback detention centres.
For example, the leader of Australia’s Christian Democratic Party, Reverend Fred Nile, issued a disgusting statement on the refugees, a statement that I feel is tinged with hatred. [JR note: I'd be more surprised if Fred ever issued a statement that wasn't tinged with hate. The statement is here, though the screaming red subtitle tells you all you need to know about Fred's position without having to read any more.]
I kept wondering.
How can Australian Christianity support chains of large bookstores that lavishly promote the latest American fashions—Prayer of Jabez merchandise and books on the evils of Harry Potter—but where you struggle to find information on the suffering Christians of the world?
Why do so few Australian Christians seem to care that Jihad is occurring against brother and sister Christians, just across the waters in Indonesia?
I wondered what had happened to the message of Jesus.
As an avowed non-Christian, I've been wondering that for a long time myself.
10:51 PM | link
"Endangered artillery system under review". I love that phrase. Makes it sound like some sort of exotic African plant ("...and this one over here is an example of the rare Artilleria Crusaderii, only about five of these are still known to survive in the wild...")
10:28 PM | link
US planned terrorist acts against itself in the 1960s, planning to blame Cuba for them.
The plans were developed as ways to trick the American public and the international community into supporting a war to oust Cuba's then new leader, communist Fidel Castro.
America's top military brass even contemplated causing U.S. military casualties, writing: "We could blow up a U.S. ship in Guantanamo Bay and blame Cuba," and, "casualty lists in U.S. newspapers would cause a helpful wave of national indignation."
You know, I'm glad the US is (nominally) on our side. Hate to think what they might do to us if we were their enemies. Actually, if we were their enemies, they'd just make us sign contracts with the TV networks so we'd be forced to sit through all the ads...
10:20 PM | link
Christ almighty, I'm already rethinking that fuckwit of the week award.
Because of the ad skips.... It's theft. Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button you're actually stealing the programming.
This, part of an interview with Jamie Kellner who's the head of Turner Broadcasting in the US, is the most horrendous thing I've read all week. It genuinely appalls me to realise people actually think this way. And what's this "contract" bullshit? I never signed no contract, cuntboy. Does it say somewhere in that contract that in exchange for our tolerating adverts you'll provide something worth watching instead of the shit that pollutes the airwaves as they are? Cos if not, I'm reneging on the deal, just like you...
10:15 PM | link
Article on Natalie Portman and Attack of the Clones. Most interesting bit? The "Rated: MA" comment. Holy shit, I thought when I saw that. That really has the potential to wipe out a lot of the younger audience, you know, the little folks for whom uncle George came up with the Jar Jar Binks thing. Obviously the younger kids can still get into an MA film with their parents, but that surprises me greatly. Suddenly I'm quite interested in what this film is going to be like...
6:57 PM | link
Good article on The Osbournes. Since it only airs on cable here, I've had to resort to *cough* slightly less legal means of seeing the show. So far I've seen one and a bit episodes, and it's jaw-dropping. And the really remarkable thing, as the article notes, is that Sharon Osbourne's earlier claim that she wanted to show what a normal family was like wasn't as ironic as I'd initially thought. Barring a few details, in essence the Osbourne family is remarkably ordinary. In some ways that's the funniest thing about the show...
6:50 PM | link
Anti-terrorist paranoia reaches Australia. ASIO could soon have rights to hold people suspected of terrorist-related activities for 48 hours with no communication, no legal representation, and no right to silence. And no charges necessarily being laid, either. George Williams, elsewhere in the Herald, offers a refutation:
It clearly does not represent the intention of the Government, but this legislation contains the essential apparatus of a police state. And who can know whether a government in 20 or even 50 years may be prepared to use such powers unscrupulously.
I wouldn't trust the present government to be entirely scrupulous on this one, never mind what putative bunch of cunts might be running the place in 2020 or 2050. It's as I've said in the past: when you introduce these sorts of laws, where do they stop? At what point do they begin to have a general application beyond their initial intent?
6:39 PM | link
The revival of the Library of Alexandria. Sadly it looks like it might be subject to the same sectarian bullshit that kept destroying the original. I didn't even know this was happening until yesterday, when we were told about it in class; there are apparently real fears of censorship, it'll cost a fucking fortune to maintain, and the shelves designed for four to eight million books currently hold only 200,000. I suppose we can only hope it'll grow a bit over time. Good initiative, anyway...
6:22 PM | link
And if that was the height of bad taste, this petition represents the height of people too fuckwitted to know what taste is:
Those of us who have seen The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring know what an amazing director Peter Jackson is. When I learned that there apparently was to be a sequel, I was overjoyed. However, Peter Jackson has decided to tastelessly name the sequel "The Two Towers". The title is clearly meant to refer to the attacks on the World Trade Center. In this post-September 11 world, it is unforgiveable that this should be allowed to happen. The idea is both offensive and morally repugnant. Hopefully, when Peter Jackson and, more importantly, New Line Cinema see the number of signatures on this petition, the title will be changed to something a little more sensitive.
Distressingly, this astonishing piece of idiocy has 1090 signatures at the moment. And knowing Hollywood's touchiness, I have this terrible fear that it might be taken into consideration. Admittedly, PetitionOnline do preface it with an editorial comment saying don't blame Jackson, it's Tolkein's title, but those 1090 people either haven't noticed or are too ignorant to realise or care.
6:03 PM | link
A Flash game in the worst possible taste. No, honestly, it is. Don't say you weren't warned.
5:14 PM | link
Prince Philip, God bless him, does it again. This time he managed a two-for-the-price-of-one bit of offensiveness:
Philip was visiting Exeter Cathedral with his wife as part of her Golden Jubilee tour of Britain when he spotted blind woman Susan Edwards and her guide dog in the crowd waiting for the royal visitors.
"Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?" he asked Edwards. Although she didn't seem to react, people standing nearby raised their eyebrows without saying anything.
Gotta love him. An idiot he may be, but he's reliable. Never need to worry about whether or not he'll contain himself in public because you just know he won't.
4:57 PM | link
David Corn on the US' National Day of Prayer.
In a prayer written for the National Day of Prayer, May 2, the Reverend Lloyd Olgivie, the Senate chaplain, asks God to "bless our President, Congress, and all our leaders with supernatural power." He didn't beseech God to endow them with strength and wisdom--a more reasonable request--but to make them superheroes.
Amusing, but also somewhat worrying. See what you think.
4:44 PM | link
NRA vice president: no difference between gun-control advocates and Osama bin Laden. This man gets my vote for fuckwit of the week, comfortably beating out even Mike Tyson from the other day.
4:36 PM | link
Walmart forced to pay $130,000 to family of man who shot himself using bullets he bought there.
4:33 PM | link
Hunting for planets around white dwarf stars. Just look, if you don't do anything else with this article, at the image at the top of it. In fact, click that image for the full-size view. Then remember that's a photograph. I've often said we're in a great age, or at least at the beginning of one, for exploring and understanding the universe out there, and that shot just illustrates what a strange and beautiful place we're discovering the universe really is...
4:24 PM | link
Perth brothel forced to shut doors after an influx of US sailors exhausts its girls. Apparently it got nearly 600 bookings in three days before they had to close. Still, the madam reckons some of the girls would've made up to about seven thousand bucks in those three days, so nobody's got any cause for complaint...
3:49 PM | link
Saudi court orders man to have teeth publicly extracted. YIIIIIIIIIII. I know the "blogosphere", or at least a good number of its denizens, are down on Saudi Arabia and view that country about as dimly as they view Iraq, but I don't think I've seen them pick up on this yet. I'm not getting it. I attempted not to be knee-jerk against the Arab world following September 11, I didn't want to just give into the unthinking hate thing. To condemn a person or a nation simply because it is that person or nation with its concomitant set of beliefs that are not like yours is too easy, and I've frowned on numerous other bloggers and commentators I've seen doing it. And I've been guilty of it myself, yes, but I try not to be. Obviously there's some psychological need in governments to have enemies, and the Arab world is filling that need these days where the Communist countries used to do it. And I really didn't want to get into that automatic "Arab world = bad, enemies" type of thinking. But lately they're just exhausting my patience and understanding, and this doesn't make them look particularly good...
3:45 PM | link
The Fourth Annual Masturbate-A-Thon. Wank for a worthy cause.
7:31 PM | link
Now here's a memento of WW1 for you. Evidently the Australian forces didn't respect the Turkish forces then quite as much as they do now...
7:01 PM | link
More deep-linking rubbish. My favourite part:
Belo says that those links "can result in a viewer not understanding that the content is on our client's site" and, more importantly, "allows the viewer to avoid the advertising, etc., on the homepage (which places our client in a bad position with respect to its advertisers, etc.)." (my emphasis)
Yes, god forbid people browsing the Net should be prevented from viewing ads, eh. I propose this to the folks who've been getting the D***** M****** N*** in a tizzy: don't just stop deep-linking them. Stop linking them at all. Encourage others to avoid linking them at all in any way shape or form. Hell, I've even blotted out their name. See how they like that response and what their advertisers think of that.
6:53 PM | link
There are dismemberments, impalements, talking severed heads, bodies sliced in half, smashed skulls and more. This movie gives definition to "vile" in Ps. 101:3. There are also issues of sexual immorality such as nudity (repeatedly), excessive cleavage as often as a key actress is called into the scenes, sadomasochism with the professor to get a passing grade, inappropriate touch, open face kissing, stripping for sex, intercourse and more [Mark 7:21]. Besides, it is boring.
Oh for the ability to write with such a delicious sense of irony as that...
6:44 PM | link
Mike Tyson's gonna kill Lennox Lewis. Wish he'd kill himself once he's done, make sure he stops himself from ever being a fuckwit again in future.
"My main objective in the fight is to be professional but to kill him," Tyson told the Evening Standard.
"Winning the world championship again will mean a great deal to me. But it will mean a lot to people who are in prison, who don't really believe in the system.
"I don't care if you are black, white, the Klan, Aryan, a gang member. It will show that you can succeed, that you are not garbage."
Yes, you too can be professional, successful garbage just like Iron Mike. I know I'm inspired...
6:33 PM | link
Creator of "Melissa" gets 20 months. Not enough. I take a pretty dim view of people who create viruses, be they merely annoying or outright destructive, so you'll hopefully pardon me if I think he got off lighter than he should've done.
6:29 PM | link
Jack Chick still doing his bit for religious tolerance. I'm interested in one of the later frames where he claims the KJV is the only version of the Bible "Satan hasn't messed with". 'Twould appear he's not too keen on the Americanised NIV, nor terribly interested in the errors of translation inherent in the Textus Receptus which the KJV was based on and hence perpetuated or the literally tens of thousands of variations between editions of the KJV that were known by the 1850s... and let's not get started on some of King James' personal habits, as I'm sure Chick already has books denouncing them...
6:13 PM | link
Matt Groening denies reports The Simpsons is on its last legs.
Groening has earned millions for media baron Rupert Murdoch's Fox network since the series featuring Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and baby Maggie first entered the lives of television viewers in 1989. In fact, he predicted that the Simpsons "will continue to make Rupert Murdoch even richer."
Just like Futurama didn't, eh.
5:46 PM | link
Pope forced to slum it in Azerbaijan and stay in a hotel. Apparently he normally stays in Catholic monasteries or convents, but there aren't any in Baku, so he's hiring the whole hotel instead.
5:28 PM | link
Aussie Rules player suspended for biting an opponent in the nuts. Ouch. Still, I'll bet John Hopoate's thinking now "why didn't I think of doing that instead of sticking my finger up the other guy's bum that time"...
5:25 PM | link
Divorce: The Musical. Next: Marriage: A Horror Movie...
5:21 PM | link
Man caught with heroin "wanted to enjoy his trip to rehab". I'll bet he did...
5:19 PM | link
You are a Metafilter.
You are a reliable source of constantly updated cool and ridiculous links.
Keep 'em coming.
Take the What Blogging Archetype Are You test at GAZM.org
Is it just me or are these online personality test things getting out of control?
5:16 PM | link
The American Bravado Quiz. In which I scored 46%, meaning 81% of people who've previously done the quiz are more patriotic than me, 5% are just as patriotic, and 12% are less patriotic. Suppose that's OK for someone who's not even American like me. Where the other two percent went I don't know, but I'm sure the US government is bombing the shit out of a cave complex somewhere in Afghanistan looking for them... maybe I'd have scored better if I hadn't answered the last question, about what would I do if I saw someone burning the American flag, by ticking the "grab a lighter and burn another one" option...
7:31 PM | link
Saudi government produces self-serving adverts for American cable TV, American cable TV doesn't want them.
6:23 PM | link
Of course, Dubya has other big plans in the works. I honestly don't understand this. One country plans war against another. Why does that country then let the other country know what it's planning to do?
But senior officials now acknowledge that any offensive would probably be delayed until early next year, allowing time to create the right military, economic and diplomatic conditions. These include avoiding summer combat in bulky chemical suits, preparing for a global oil price shock, and waiting until there is progress toward ending the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
And letting Saddam Hussein build up his own armies, chemical weapons, etc? I honestly, really don't get it.
6:12 PM | link
Dubya on the need to treat mental illness the same as physical illness when it comes to insurance. That said, I'm kind of with Ted Barlow on this one; well-meaning on the surface but perhaps with more cynical motives behind it.
5:57 PM | link
Latina pop "sensation" Shakira unwittingly promoting sweatshops? What irony (?) that her current single should be called "Underneath Your Clothes"...
5:15 PM | link
New Zealand TV station dismisses boss for being "fake". Christ, don't you think that if you're hiring someone to run a TV station, you'd check their credentials and references before letting them in? It's fine and well to piss and moan about having been duped by a "sophisticated international fraudster", but surely it's not too hard to check whether or not he really did work somewhere he claimed to have done?
4:24 PM | link
Cool. My Pillow Book website is the 253,679th most visited site on the Net. I had no idea I was so popular.
4:11 PM | link
Hardcore vegans charged with abusing child by refusing to breastfeed her. Sentence them to meat, I say. I've no problems with vegetarians or vegans and their eating habits as long as they don't judge me for my carnivorous tendencies, but this just reeks of idiocy.
4:00 PM | link
Elvis Presley, Rex Iudaeorum? The film about Elvis' Jewish roots.
3:49 PM | link
American authorities reviewing election in Madagascar where the loser is refusing to accept the court-ordered recount. Well, they should have experience with that situation...
3:46 PM | link
The end night for The Simpsons? Matt Groening's not exactly saying as much, but does say "it becomes increasingly difficult as the years go by to keep on not only surprising the audience, but surprising ourselves". Hmm. I reckon the show has long since passed its peak, but it'll still seem mighty weird the day Groening decides enough is enough and there will be no more new Simpsons adventures...
3:38 PM | link
Now these are some enterprising thieves.
A police spokesman told the St Petersburg Times: "We have no leads to follow - not that we would mind going out looking for them."
Heh. I'll bet the squad were just falling over each other to get on that detail...
3:25 PM | link
Wendy Harmer apologises for shitty Logies hosting performance. I avoid the Logies like the plague much like any other award show so didn't see the performance in question, but it's been roundly hammered in the media. Indeed the only good words I've heard said about it came from Beyoncé Knowles of Destiny's Child (currently touring here and who performed at the awards on Sunday) on the Today show this morning. That said, poor as some of the jokes undeniably were, Wendy didn't exactly have an easy job of it by the sounds of things...
6:48 PM | link
Private school students join in samurai sword rampage in Melbourne. Never mind how that kid in Germany got his gun—what the fuck were these people doing out with a samurai sword? I mean, I can understand a person carrying a gun in public. Small and easily concealed. A sword, though, is neither of those things. I'm actually rather astonished...
6:32 PM | link
Good Lord, the Washington Post seems to have only just discovered the Nigerian investment fraud thing. Fuck, we got a letter about this years ago, long before the days of email. And I honestly have no sympathy for the people who've lost money on this. If they were too fucking stupid to be able to see through a scam, then they deserve to have lost.
6:14 PM | link
Ignorant American sports fans boo Canadian national anthem. Which again demonstrates there's nothing much inherently wrong with sports, except for some of the fans...
3:55 PM | link
I will not countenance any list of the 50 best TV shows ever which puts Seinfuck at the top.
3:50 PM | link
Man arrested for refusing to leave prison grounds. No, it's not quite what you think...
3:33 PM | link
Britain's plans for surviving a Soviet nuclear strike in the 1950s. Which, if I'm reading it correctly, basically consisted of the imposition of martial law, the adoption of a stiff upper lip, and simply getting on with things as best as possible. Does that plan inspire you? Me neither.
Emergency plans were drawn up to allow the military authorities to take over from regional or local authorities and to dispense justice through special military war zone courts. Peter Hennessy, author of The Secret State, a study of Whitehall and the bomb, said last night: "This is the first direct confirmation that post-nuclear attack there would have to be military government for a time."
But for what time? How long would it take the military to decide they could go back to just being an army instead of a government? This is what bothers me about the concept of martial law; unless I'm mistaken, in those countries where the army has been given leadership, historically they haven't proven too keen on giving it back...
3:29 PM | link
Interesting piece on how some Jewish organisations accuse the US and the Arab world of antisemitism, then flirt with anti-semitic groups themselves.
3:10 PM | link
The man who stopped that German school shooting from being even worse than it was. Brave man. If I'd been the gunman and someone approached me like that and told me to shoot them, I'd probably have done it.
5:59 PM | link
This is not the sort of news the South Sydney Rabbitohs really need during their comeback season.
5:57 PM | link
Spencer Tunick strikes again, this time in Brazil. Apparently he's also been doing his nude shots in Antarctica, which astonishes me; clearly he can get people to get their kits off anywhere...
5:12 PM | link
CIA official: defending America against terrorists properly would break too many civil liberties to be worth it. Oh, and terrorist attacks are unavoidable. DUH. If these people really have that little idea of what to do against terrorists, or that little inclination to do it, shouldn't they just say so then quietly step aside to let someone who does know do the job?
5:03 PM | link
The Evil Plan Generator. Either select your own options or just hit the random button to generate your Evil Plan, like this:
Your objective is simple: Widespread Misery.
Your motive is a little bit more complex: MoneyStage One
To begin your plan, you must first assassinate a pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this ripe bastard? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?Stage Two
Next, you will desecrate United Nations. This will cause countless hordes of cultists to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with dear god no, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.Stage Three
Finally, you will unleash your horsemen of the apocalypse, bringing about something that\'s really metal. This will all be done from a Island of Mu, an excellent choice if we might say.These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.
Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.
4:43 PM | link
A fantastic black & white photography website. Some astonishing imagery in this one.
4:30 PM | link
 If i was a serial killer i would be Ted Bundy.In the early to mid 1970s Ted Bundy would murder over 30 young women. Most were attacked while walking in parks, found later to have been raped and strangled to death, but sometimes Bundy would go as far as breaking into their houses as they slept and beating them to death with a crow bar. After being caught and convicted of the murders, Bundy accepted prison, acquired a new name and started his killing spree all over again. Soon after, Bundy was caught, but not before taking the lives of 3 more women. Almost all of Bundy's victims were young white girls with long dark hair parted down the middle, all were raped, beaten and sodomized. kill count: 30+ Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now! |
I'm disappointed, actually. I was hoping I'd get Charles Manson...
8:45 PM | link
Old Man Winter Baby
(Normal Ignored Functional Adult)
Brrrr. Your inner child is Old Man Winter Baby, or an NIFA, blowing cold winds in from the North and freezing all in your path. Your inner chillin' grew up a long time ago, before the sun came and warmed the planet. You are what is known in religious tracts as an "old soul."
Your little man in you tends to freeze at the wrong time-- just when what you need is hot buttered action. So try a little tenderness once in a while, huh? Lighten up. The good news is you don't need professional help. Pet a puppy, jazzercise or lick a ripe watermelon and you'll start to feel much, much better.
7:04 PM | link
A pair of comments on the Logie awards, from Graeme Blundell and Red Symonds. And my apologies to Graeme, but Red's cynicism wins the day for me. See what you think.
4:05 PM | link
Andrew W.K. interviewed. I'm still not sure what to make of the music, but damn you have to admire his self-belief.
3:52 PM | link
David Fincher interviewed. He's not terribly enthused by his own Panic Room, much like I wasn't; entertaining, but a sad letdown after Fight Club. And I'm frankly disturbed by the idea of him doing the next Mission Impossible film...
3:43 PM | link
Oh, and the gunman at that German school had a fascination with Satanism and the occult. Well there's a shock. I'm surprised no one is pointing the finger at the gothic community yet. Still, give them time... Incidentally, this piece demonstrates this isn't the first school shooting even in Germany, apparently there was one only a couple of months ago.
3:41 PM | link
Kelvin MacKenzie on newspapers and libel. Or, the sort of shit you can find yourself in if you don't check your sources properly. The Sting incident is a cracker.
3:28 PM | link
Now this is something I only dream of being able to do. Hell, I'd even be willing to settle for the occasional bit of throat-singing, never mind the full three-octave stuff.
3:22 PM | link
The M*A*S*H 30th anniversary special. I'm really not sure about this. I love the original show, I still think it's one of the best written TV shows there's ever been, but do I really want to see them doing this sort of thing?
2:48 PM | link
Franca Arena talks about how she wanted to kill herself when she discovered her sons were gay. What a pity she didn't actually do it.
2:18 PM | link
The sad state of the "great popular songbook". I don't think he cares for Diana Krall very much. Haven't heard anything by her, but frankly the jazz world's abiding fondness for constant albums of standards annoys me so I'm not inclined to check her out. I will, however, echo his blasting of Robbie Williams, whose version of "Mr Bojangles" is just a platter of absolute shite...
2:14 PM | link
2SER's program of screen culture Wednesday 8pm AEST; repeated Saturday 12.30pm AEST In Sydney, tune into 2SER FM 107.3, or listen over the Internet from 2SER.com |
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